6 Signs Your Postpartum Prep Needs a Reality Check
You've read every birth book, assembled the bassinet, and packed your hospital bag three times. But when it comes to planning for life after baby arrives? That’s where things get a little fuzzy.
Here are 6 signs it’s time to get stuck into postpartum preparation:
1. Your budget assumes no unexpected expenses
You've bought all the baby gear, you’re using the public hospital system, and the freezer is stocked….what else will you need anyway?
What about when breastfeeding struggles mean you need a lactation consultant? Or when your GP recommends a visit to the pelvic floor specialist? Or if things are way harder than you expect (which is the case for 99% of the parents I have met) and you want to hire help?
The reality check: Postpartum recovery is predictable…if you listen to those who have done it already. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but the ideal budget for postpartum is way higher than you might imagine. Here are a few things you should include in your budget. Hopefully you won’t need them, but if you do, they will be easier to access if the money is already allocated.
Lactation Consultant - avg first consult $240
Formula (if Breastfeeding doesn’t work out) - avg cost $300/month
Pelvic Floor Specialist - avg consult $200
Meal Delivery Service - $150-200/week
Postpartum Doula - $200-300/week
Perinatal Psychology Appointment - $90-$130 out of pocket
baby chiro/osteo for sleep/feeding issues - avg consult $100-$120
tongue/lip tie specialist treatment - $150-$800
2. You haven't had the "what actual help looks like" conversation with anyone
Everyone says "let me know if you need anything!" But what happens when you actually need something? Do they mean "I'll bring a casserole" or "I'll do your laundry while you rest"? There's a big difference between visiting the baby and actually helping the family.
The reality check: Get specific about what help means to you. Do you want someone to hold the baby while you shower, or do you want them to clean your kitchen while you bond with baby? Have these conversations now, not at one week postpartum when you’re feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed.
3. Your support network is all other parents with kids under 5
Your friends are amazing, but they're also in the thick of their own parenting challenges. Asking someone who's already managing toddler meltdowns to support you through newborn fog isn't always realistic. Toddler sickness is common and often gets in the way of helpers entering your newborn bubble. Not to mention how quickly the weeks pass for pre-school age parents juggling drop-offs, work and playdates.
The reality check: Build a diverse support network. Include people who have capacity to actually help - whether that's child-free friends, parents with older kids, or professional support like a postpartum doula.
4. You have a week's worth of freezer meals and no plan for week 2 onwards
It’s easy to think a full freezer is plenty, and that your cooking-loving partner will jump back into the kitchen quickly. But consider the infinite number of possibilities
- baby has colic and needs to be held constantly,
- baby doesn’t sleep for long stretches so both parents are on night duty and too exhausted cook,
- a last minute work-trip
- birth injury / pelvic floor damage
- emergency c-section
- PPD/A
- your village doesn’t show up the way you thought they would
The reality check: Plan for the long game. Recovery isn't just the first week, nor six weeks. Consider meal delivery services, grocery pickup, or asking different people to cover different weeks of meals (I recommend mealtrain.com). And prepare for months of being unable to cook consistently. I don’t recommend many high-ticket items to purchase before birth, but an extra freezer is on my list.
5. You haven't started asking for help yet
One of the biggest challenges for first-time parents is the unpleasant surprises - they didn’t expect it to be that hard, they didn’t realise what sleep deprivation really meant, they assumed breastfeeding would be easy and it wasn’t, and heart-breakingly - they thought their family would show up for them in all the right ways…but they were let down.
The reality check: Some friends and family don’t know how to help and don’t take initiative. Start asking now. Be explicit with your requests so that family aren’t guessing. Want meals? Ask well in advance, set some dates. Make it a family cooking day. Want your visitors to help around the house? Prepare them while you’re still pregnant - have conversations, send a text message, tell them where your laundry powder is kept.
Feel like you can’t ask your family and friends for practical help? Consider paid support - a postpartum doula can support you through your village-building practice and, of course, provide hands-on practical help with care and compassion to you and your newborn family.
6. You think planning ahead means you're being controlling/anxious
Maybe you've been told you're "overthinking it" or that you should "go with the flow." But you wouldn't wing a major work project or family holiday - why would you wing the biggest physical and emotional transition of your life? There is a beautiful balance between planning and surrendering in postpartum. It is achievable, with a little help and some conscious effort.
There are so many more services, tools, and resources available to new parents than most even realise. It is surprising how little information is either delivered to expectant parents in antenatal appointments, or that sinks in. One of the best ways to ensure you have optimised your personal and community support network is to take action with a postpartum plan. Get a postpartum doula’s help if you feel like you are in over your head.
The reality check: Planning for postpartum isn't anxiety - it's wisdom. You're not trying to control every moment; you're creating a foundation so you can actually be present for the beautiful, messy, unpredictable reality of new parenthood.
The Bottom Line
Good postpartum planning isn't about having everything set in stone. It's about acknowledging that you don't know what you don't know - and setting yourself up with the resources and support to handle whatever comes your way.
Your future postpartum self will thank you for thinking this through now, while you still have the mental bandwidth to plan ahead.
